Go Bags and Canned Food

First, let’s align ourselves.

Sometimes it helps to close your eyes, sometimes it helps to keep them focused on a blank space on a wall or a picture you like. Do what you need to do. But I want you to imagine a dot. Let that dot be any color you (or it) want that dot to be. Keep that dot in the center of your eye/mind and start to work on your breathing. Start by just breathing in and out regularly. Feel the air enter on the breath in, then feel it pass on the way out. Repeat but with each passing breath, let the air flow a little deeper. With each breath, keep your eye on that dot. Try to make more and more space in your mind for the air and the dot. Focus. Repeat this for a while.

After you’ve taken some time with your breathing and Dot, assess your situation as always but let’s add some additional areas to consider.

Do you hurt physically? Where is your body in this moment? Can you address your pain? What can be done immediately? Short-term? Long-term?

Do you hurt mentally? What is on your mind? How are your thoughts organized? Can you address your pain? What can be done immediately? Short-term? Long-term?

Do you hurt spiritually? How are you taking care of your spirit? What is on your soul? Can you address your pain? What can be done immediately? Short-term? Long-term?

Have you slept recently? If not, sometimes answers can be found in our dreams and rest. Rest if you can.

Have you eaten recently? If not, sometimes answers can be found in the solace of a nourished belly. Eat well, sitting down and focused on your food, if you can.

Have you had a glass of water? If not, sometimes answers can be found in this basic liquid. Drink a decent amount of water (I’d go with a pint this week, if you can handle it) and feel the feeling of it going down. This one is a little non-negotiable.  

Now, check in again. How are you? Do you have access to a range of emotions? Are you feeling them? Do you need more assistance than what this list can provide? If so, take a minute to think about where that assistance is located. If you can’t find anyone close to you, feel free to FB message me. From there you can call me. I’ll listen to you.  

So here we are.

I find myself more ready than I was these days.  Whatever stuff I pack that is electronic or electrical has a backup battery now.  I’m researching ruggedized equipment after being in Korea.  I carry my iPad Pro (thanks Pop!) because it can use a cell signal or wifi.  More and more, I’m using VPN and encrypted everything to communicate.  I’ve got go bags and canned food on my mind for the storage area in my house as of late.

I’m getting ready, I think.  A lot of us are preparing even though we don’t know what we are preparing for.

Nuclear Armageddon?

Racial Armageddon?

Climate Armageddon?

We’re just preparing.  

In this time of heightened everything, I offer no judgements or complaints or “wait, but…” or “but we should also…” or anything other than love and a listening ear.  Like my man Peter Hardie has often modeled for me, I listen to the wind and to my folks.  Do what you need to do but keep your mind on freedom.  We’re all in this shit together, even thousands of miles away.  

I will say that I see a lot of fucking sick and walking wounded out there, so I’m talking to you folks today.  I admire your hustle and spirit.  You’re beautiful and wild and I love you like fresh spoonbread.  I mean it.

My checklist remains up top, because having a sound mind and body on the basic level is helpful.  Once again, I’m including the resource that inspired it.

If you’re tired, please go home and rest.  This especially goes for those of you who aren’t sleeping because of nightmares, workload, or anything else.  Remember that if you’re going on less than 4 hours sleep you’re basically drunk.  Would you run a meeting drunk?  Would you drive a car drunk?  

If you are sick with the crud of the week, please go home and rest.  Infecting the rest of us with whatever you have is that bullshit.  Please don’t do that to us.  We love you.

If you are depressed or suffering from any other mental health malady, listen to your body (includes your brain, remember?)  A lot of us have that problem AND a long-term and/or chronic illness, so don’t think for a moment that you can just ignore all that synapse signaling and think you can drink water through it alone.  Don’t panic and forget you have friends and family to turn to. Let them in and BE HONEST about what you need.  We’re here to help you.

I’m in the streets Saturday.  If you need me, you know where to find me.


Doc warned me before I left that this could happen.  I’m writing this post at about 3 AM because I spent too much time in bed this afternoon, indulging naps.  Combine that with some Excedrin due to a headache, too much blue light and I’m up late.  I’m gonna try some melatonin tonight after moving around some things and creating a space for better sleep.

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, here’s the best advice I’ve gotten on the subject:

If you’re not stuck, do what comes naturally.  Just take it easy and remember that you’re kinda drunk after all that flying.  Those first couple of days have been an interesting experience.

If you’re stuck, don’t nap.  Give yourself a chance to reset during the day.  Your body will forgive you I swear.

If you get sleepy and can’t nap, you might try low impact exercise in the sunlight.  No bullshit.  I’m going to end up doing this myself multiple times over the next couple of weeks.  I do it because I need the endorphins and it helps to be outside, but it apparently also helps with the fatigue.

Blue light during the day, more yellow light at night.  There’s solid reasons for this.  Check out f.lux to change your light settings on your computer.

Don’t do any work at night.  This one has been a hard one to hold onto but I’ve managed to do it.

Ask for help and keep asking.  Friends, family, medical professionals.  Tell people what you want and need.  Feel free to also tell people when you don’t need help and just need a hug or something.  That’s pretty important.

I’ve got good directions and a good feeling about those directions, so don’t worry about me yet.  There’s reasons for how I feel and I’m not scared.

So for tonight, my time of day is the dark time.  3:45 AM… let’s give it a shot.





Time Travel Side Effects

Taking a week off was a beautiful idea.  

Doing laundry, interspersed with nap time, is making plenty of room for the hard work to come.

J has been a masterful teacher.  We play and laugh at silly things, but when it is time to be serious we are SERIOUS.  All business, this kid.

My body is helping me understand what makes me, us, work together… conscious self and fleshy machine.  There’s no shortage of stumbles… falling asleep whenever the sky is overcast or the 3 am rising or the dry drunk recklessness.  But I’m getting closer and closer to whatever my personal brand of normal is.  

I’ll be utilizing this space again for its intended purpose soon enough.   You should also check out A Trip Across Movements as I’ll be talking with my work voice on over there, but I plan to hold up my end of the bargain we made around my birthday.  I have things to say, so I’m going to say them.

Now, DQ Blizzards and a movie I didn’t choose.  I will likely fall asleep during the show because the room will be dark and that’s how I fucking roll these days.