Fall Feels

Sometimes it helps to close your eyes, sometimes it helps to keep them focused on a blank space on a wall or a picture you like. Do what you need to do. But I want you to imagine a dot. Let that dot be any color you (or it) want that dot to be. Keep that dot in the center of your eye/mind and start to work on your breathing. Start by just breathing in and out regularly. Feel the air enter on the breath in, then feel it pass on the way out. Repeat but with each passing breath, let the air flow a little deeper. With each breath, keep your eye on that dot. Try to make more and more space in your mind for the air and the dot. Focus. Repeat this for a while.
After you’ve taken some time with your breathing and Dot, assess your situation as always but let’s add some additional areas to consider.

Do you hurt physically? Where is your body in this moment? Can you address your pain? What can be done immediately? Short-term? Long-term?

Do you hurt mentally? What is on your mind? How are your thoughts organized? Can you address your pain? What can be done immediately? Short-term? Long-term?

Do you hurt spiritually? How are you taking care of your spirit? What is on your soul? Can you address your pain? What can be done immediately? Short-term? Long-term?

Have you slept recently? If not, sometimes answers can be found in our dreams and rest. Rest if you can.

Have you eaten recently? If not, sometimes answers can be found in the solace of a nourished belly. Eat well, sitting down and focused on your food, if you can.

Have you had a glass of water? If not, sometimes answers can be found in this basic liquid. Drink a decent amount of water (I’d go with a pint this week, if you can handle it) and feel the feeling of it going down. This one is a little non-negotiable.  

Now, check in again. How are you? Do you have access to a range of emotions? Are you feeling them? Do you need more assistance than what this list can provide? If so, take a minute to think about where that assistance is located. If you can’t find anyone close to you, feel free to FB message me. From there you can call me. I’ll listen to you.  

My vitamin D count is low, so output gets higher for a while I think.  Supplements are amazing for this so it looks like I’m back on my weekly sunshine pills.  Being seasonally affected means being aware of the pull sooner rather than later, but I didn’t “feel it” till this weekend.

It’s getting closer to a year’s end and I’m ready for all of that.  2017 has been one long relentless blister on my foot and I’m ready for that sumbitch to heal already.  I can see the need for a kitchen filled with good smells and I’m anxious to bring it into being.  I might get started waaayyyy before and try some experiments as takeout menus have been my drug of choice for too many months.  

I was talking about organizing, hands flailing as I talked about the need for a good narrative (particularly with Americans,) and Doc asked me an interesting question: when you are creating these stories, how do people feel?  I explained that it is sometimes important for people to feel like the hero in their own story and I play with that a lot.  He then asked:

When is it not the case?  Meaning, when should they not feel that way?  Shouldn’t people always feel important even when it’s  dull or you don’t think what is happening is important?

Things really suck and hopelessness is a headline away. It’s enough to make you sick (and a lot of us are.)  We are often looking for someone to save us and truth is, when we are looking for justice we often get mad when all we find is just us.  But that’s the way it is and if we get over the disappointment that comes with responsibility we might find some power underneath it.

I am sitting with that as I look at what comes next.  We all need, especially now, to feel like we are going to win and that we are all part of that victory.  Monday emails need to be full of life and sunshine because that’s what I need.   

Posting something important in a separate post and it’s gonna be NSFW.  

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