Elegba

#bipolardispatches

Today, I went to the end of the world.

The drive to the Cape of Good Hope was about an hour and a half. We went from highways that reminded me of Baltimore or Miami to, quite quickly, another place. We passed through a centuries old port town named after a mixed race governor. It’s main attraction? A penguin colony that lives on a stretch of beach.

As we got closer to our final destination, the world started to drift away. My cell signal disappeared, only to reappear as we go to the nature preserve that holds Cape Point. Alex, driver and adventurer for the day, gasped as we entered and let me know that even though he’s lived in the Eastern Cape his whole life he’s never been here before.

Once inside the preserve, I got tunnel vision. I didn’t want to be anywhere but the Cape. We could smell the sea air as we passed over a crescent of land with a lone road. The high cliffs on my left held beaches like ones I think I’ve seen in my dreams.

After a long winding drive, we reached the literal end. There were tourists there clowning around but Alex and I just took a moment. I sat and listened to the crosswind, remembering that this place was famous for sailors. It’s original name was the Cape of Storms and was the home of the Flying Dutchman legend. It was the point where you were gonna be headed East instead of South, a sure relief for anyone who has been going South for so long. Keep going South? Antarctica. Lol 🇦🇶

It was gorgeous but also old. It felt like a place to leave things so I left some thoughts and emotions there. When I did so, I was met by the oldest voice I’ve ever heard. It sounded like it knew me and was welcoming me home.

A wanderer God’s voice. A sailor’s guide.

It told me things –

1. This year has been the hardest year of your life so far but it hasn’t been the hardest yet. That one is coming. When it does, be prepared for the kind of grief that tears everything apart.

2. You need to be a better steward of all resources given to you. You hurt yourself better than anyone.

3. Don’t fight the feeling that you are not done yet with what you are working on. It’s not done.

4. Justice, your teacher, needs you around. Stop making that so hard.

5. You were meant to wander and you DEFINITELY did that this year, but not all exploration requires what this has been. Feel free to not repeat it.

I was then urged to take stones, leave a prayer and promise to return. I did so then asked Alex if we could head to the airport. He agreed and as we left, a single baboon a ways away turned to look at us and disappeared into rocky distances. I laughed, Alex looked at me puzzled and I took a deep breath.

Home soon.

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